Written with self-awareness

I am so fucking lucky I can't even stand it sometimes.
Fucking Japan. If there were no natural disasters, the world would physically cave in on itself or something but they're just....beyond unbelievable to me. Thinking selfishly (like I usually do), I guess I try to live every moment to the fullest. The worst thing that could ever happen to me would be an early death. I kind of hope there's some greater peace after this life but I have to doubt it. This is all there is. This moment, this now, this little second, this fucking shit particle on the infiniteness of eternity is dwindling, slipping away, and I am ruining myself if I take it for granted. For something so random, so completely and totally unpredictable to end my life forever without me not having ever really lived it....thats me doing myself the biggest injustice ever.
I could be dead. Not even from an earthquake or a hurricane. I could get hit by a car next time I go for a walk. I could get tuburculosis from the next person I kiss. I could provoke somebody to murder me next time I get into an argument. I could die doing the stupidest shit. How many people in Japan were on the toilet when the earthquake hit? or the tsunami? Chances are there are a bunch of people who not only were shitting but are now dead. And their last moments were spent defecating.
Life has no meaning, does it? What is there, really? There is no logical proof for a god, any sort of supernatural interference, any sort of higher power. We as beings feel pain and beauty but what can we really make of it? There is nothing other then you. You are your own god and your life's meaning is to garner as much enjoyment and pleasure as you can from it.

I'm glad I'm not dead.
I'm sending money to Japan.
I'm gonna get so fucking wasted that I cannot remember my own name.