Sunday, November 29, 2009

Feminist analysis of Taylor Swift's "15"


You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
And you say hi to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way

Okay, cool. I don't really care for the first day either. Hella weird, all the assemblies and shit....

It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know, I haven't seen you around before"

Aw, thats cute. I'm stuck in a small town too. Its kinda bull, man. I sympathize.

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be

You only start a sentence with "'Cause" if someone asked you a question, Taylor. I am 15 and I know this. But you're probably right, most teenagers do not pocess a healthy amount of skepticism. You should question things and think them over. Authority doesn't always have your best interests at heart, kids.

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be outta here as soon as we can

Wow, thats kind of judgemental. Maybe those girls are insecure and have home problems, so they channel it through social hierchies. But its a small town and there probably isn't much to do but secretly mock the cheerleaders with your ginger wingman. Again, this place sucks. I'm dying to leave as well, Taytay.

And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

Taylor, you're behind. This was when I was 13. Now I try to have legit relationships with people I actually have stuff in common with, although I don't really expect them to-OHMAGAW, HE HAS A CAR? MARRY HIM, OHMAGAW!

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin 'round
But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

Um.....I do. I know it at fifteen.

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now

Like, wanted how? Abigail wants you and cares about you and stuff. Your mom wants you and waited up for you after your date. Like, attracted to, wanted? Like waaaaaaaant to fuck you? OH. Um.....I sort of just sprouted boobs so you're a bit ahead of me there.

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine
And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

WAIT. WTF? I'm assuming you mean Abigail's virginity. So Abby fucked some dude and then he dumped her. Thats not what bothers me, thats a common occurance. But its ALL SHE HAD? Abigail's worth lies in her hymen? Abigail has nothing else to offer the world but a tight lay? And that boy, did he give Abigail EVERYTHING HE HAD? Is his virginity all he had to offer the world, or is he an individual, with hopes and dreams and aspirations beyond condoms from the local Rite Aid and ten minutes in a sweaty backseat? Probably, but I guess Abigail isn't. I guess Abigail is just an empty shell now. Wow, Taylor! I guess now all you can do is comfort her and cry with her and continue not putting out, because you still have SOMETHING.

'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

Oh, I get it now. Wow, Abigail sure knows how to pick them. I'm sure she regrets her decision, her tale is a cautionary one. But what about Lauren, who sits in front of you in sixth period English? I hear she hooked up with Craig over the weekend. Is she a failure too? What if she was just really horny? What if she doesn't expect emotional feedback from him, what if shes "pulling a Summer"? Does she still have anything, or is she an empty shell like your ginger bud? Are any woman who were too retarded to wait until they were married before breaking the protective seal on their pussies empty shells? Wow, what a wonderful message to send to young, impressionable teenage girls. I just feel so good about myself now! I'm still worth something! I'm still pure! Oh, happy fucking day! Wow, maybe if I practice SUPER HARD and I promise not to have sex with ANYBODY EVER, I can be awesome and famous JUST LIKE YOU, TAYLOR SWIFT!

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through the doors

And remember to breath! Thanks, Taylor, you're the best rolemodel ever!


Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! said...

hahahaha. God, fuck Taylor. I hate that dumb fake, Christian bitch. Her "virginal" act sickens me. I actually have more respect for Miley because Miley is an authentic, whiney 16 years old girl who's taken racy photos of herself and she's done things that pissed off some people (like wearing scantily clad clothes onstage and in real life)-- because that's what many teenaged girls do in real life!!!

Taylor is anti-feminist and I hope her career dries up and dies.

Sadako said...

Nice post...I read a couple of analyses on her "Fifteen" song (I think on's Broadsheet), about whether or not she's feminist, and should feminist women really be all that happy about her success, etc. Your post made me think about it...